Hey bro, don’t shoot me!
Cincinnati, OH – Family members of the recently murdered, captive, and endangered silverback named Harambe (pronounced Harambe) have lawyered up and plan to sue the zoo where Harambe was shot while assisting a young, overly-curious boy who unexpectedly decided to drop in for a visit.
As we all know, the name Harambe means Working Together For Freedom. What’s left of Harambe’s grieving family has decided to work together and is now filing a hefty $100 million wrongful death lawsuit against the Cincinnati Zoo.
Along with wives Chewie and Mara, and sisters Asha and Gladys, the family’s matriarchs M’Linzi and Samantha successfully convinced Jomo, the one remaining male silverback at the zoo, to contact an attorney who specializes in wrongful death zoo murders.
Harambe’s family’s attorney’s initial public statement: Harambe’s life mattered, mmkay? Harambe was very loved by his family here at the Cincinnati Zoo and they miss Harambe very very much. For Harambe to get gunned down in broad daylight just one day after his 17th birthday is just too much for his family to handle, and understandably so. We will be seeking reasonably large punitive damages, along with major distress payments, and the obvious undue hardship remunerations for the remaining women and children, who grieve Harambe’s death every single sad day, without Harambe in their captive lives, here at the incarcerational Cincinnati Zoo.
