Tag Archives: oprah

Oprah’s Much-Anticipated Holiday Gift-Giving Guide

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The Oprah reveals her recommended shopping list for your Christmas.

It is once again that lusciously delightful time of year when everyone waits to see what’s on The Oprah’s gift giving idea list for the upcoming holidays.

Every year The Oprah shares her wonderfully personal list of favorite things to get your loved ones for Christmas.

This year is no exception as The Oprah never disappoints!

Gift #1 – 200 pounds of fresh organic strawberries. ($950)

Gift #2 – Queen-sized sheepskin duvet cover. ($2,800)

Gift #3 – Diamond-encrusted dog brush. ($19,000)

Gift #4 – Gift pack of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. ($53,000)

Gift #5 – 100 shares of Amazon.com, Inc. NASDAQ:AMZN. ($111,160)

Gift #6 – New car: Bentley Mulsanne. ($335,000)

Gift #7 – A bottle of Tequila Ley 925. ($3.5 M)

Gift #8 – Lady Gaga concert with the Obamas. ($12 M)

Gift #9 – Private jet: Dassault Falcon 7X. ($35 M)

Gift #10 – The Shroud of Turin. (priceless)

New Fargo Donut Shop Specifically Designed For People On Drugs

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The Magic Donut caters to druggies.

Fargo, ND – Entrepreneur Jami Hendrix is opening a new doughnut shop in Downtown Fargo.

The unique thing about this donut shoppe is that it will be created with people on drugs in mind.

Jami Hendrix: “Rather than deny we hava drug problem in Fargo, why not accept it and then cater to it?”

She is calling her new biz simply The Magic Donut.

Ms. Hendrix: “We want to heighten people’s donut experience. We can do this with special music and lighting, cool interactivities, along with the general design and layout of the space.”

Besides having wonderful donuts at The Magic Donut, Jami is planning on having:

1. Jimi Hendrix music playing backwards.
2. Highly interactive donut areas.
3. Booths that keep changing shape, like Oprah.
4. Movies playing such as Trainspotting and Blow.

Question: What is the slogan of this new Magic Donut you may ask?
Answer: “Donut chew wanna donut?” and “We have very high standards!”

Oprah Wants Everyone To Join Weight Watchers Since She Owns 10% Of The Company

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Everyone who reaches their goal weight will receive a free yo-yo from The Oprah!

Chicago, Illinois – The Oprah is asking for everyone to join Weight Watchers to lose weight along with her.

After having her personal chefs help her balloon up to an astounding 850 pounds, now she is cleverly asking America to join her in dropping some tonnage.

While she loses weight, she and Jabba The Hutt will each be pocketing tons of money since they each own ten percent of Weight Watchers.

Some stupid questions we’d like answered are: How could The Oprah be so overweight if she’s already this involved with the company? What’s her goal weight? 400 pounds? What weight will she balloon up to after this profitable stunt is over? Is Jabba The Hutt also going to try to shed some tonnage?