Tag Archives: peanuts

Husband Of Peanut Farmer’s Wife Driving Her Nuts

Part of why the peanut farmer’s wife went nuts was because of her husband’s lack of organization and focus along with some other stuff.

Nuttsville, Virginia – Murly Spanielson says her husband is to blame for her having gone completely nuts.

Ironically, Sparky Spanielson, a nut farmer by trade, has said he pleads not guilty to all charges except for maybe the “going nuts” part.

Murly has supposedly gone through all the different stages of going nuts and is currently at Stage #19 where she wants to bring charges to Sparky in the form of two large electrical wires hooked directly up to their 200 amp electrical service box.

Sparky, who literally grows nuts, more and more each year it seems, does admit he has a problem trying to stay focused which leads into his secondary problem of getting and staying somewhat organized.

Relationship counselor Beatrice Nicely says she has never seen anything like it: “Yeah, as a trained professional relationship counselor, I ain’t never seen anything like this, and that’s a for sure!”

If you would like to donate to Murly Spanielson’s gofundme account, simply decide if $100 seems right, or perhaps $250 is more what your gut is telling you on this one.

If you would like to support Sparky Spanielson, he will be giving a demonstration on nut farming in his garage which he is trying to clear out by next Friday. Sparky asks that you bring some random item for him to add to his collection of things to work on once he finishes this year’s nut crop.

If You See This Chipmunk, Contact Your Local Authorities Immediately

Considered to be a "chipmunk of interest", authorities would like to question this little guy.

Considered to be a “chipmunk of interest”, authorities would like to question this little guy.

Lakes, MN – The authorities are asking for your help in finding this chipmunk who goes by the name of “Mr. Chippy”.

Mr. Chippy is considered by local authorities to be a “chipmunk of interest” in a rash of burglaries and break-ins throughout the Minnesota lakes area.

Some of the things cabin dwellers have found to be missing include nuts, acorns, seeds, mushrooms, corn, berries, slugs, and snails.

Mr. Chippy is possibly armed and dangerous. He may have food and weapons stockpiled in his burrow.

If you see this Minnesota menace who stands at about 4 inches tall, has black stripes down his back and a bushy little tail, please remain calm in your home, and call your local authorities immediately to report the situation.

If Mr. Chippy should approach you while outside your home, toss a peanut away from yourself which should allow you time to quickly run into your home and lock the doors and windows.