Tag Archives: protest

Norwegians Marching To Protest All Those Stupid Norwegian Jokes

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Norwegian-Americans are starting to protest all those bad Norwegian jokes!

Oslo, MN – Well, it was only a matter of time until they had enough and just couldn’t take it anymore.

Now, many Norwegian-Americans are fed up with all those silly Norwegian jokes and being the subject of such stupidity.

Jokes such as: Why do Norwegians grocery shop with a ladder? Because the food prices are so high!

Ole Larson who helped organize the protest march says “enough is enough already!”

Lars Olson says jokes like: “The reason why Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast is because the drivers are afraid they’ll get robbed” have done enough damage and they just need to stop!

If some of your ancestors were Norwegian and you’d like to join a Norwegian joke protest march, please contact the Sons Of Norway.

It would greatly help the protest march if you made a big poster with a Norwegian joke on it, saying “Please stop jokes like this one…”

Q: Why did the Norwegians bring sandpaper to the desert?
A: Because they thought it was a map!

West Fargo Garage Band Hits Big Time After Being Discovered By Leonardo DiCaprio

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Mind Probe goes viral internationally thanks to a protesting actor.

Mind Probe goes viral internationally thanks to a visiting protesting actor dressed as a creepy clown.

West Fargo, ND – Just as Steve Jobs began tinkering with apples in his garage, three young men playing their music in a garage have blasted off from their West Fargo launch pad.

The local garage band named Mind Probe was recently discovered by actor Leonardo DiCaprio who was on his way back to the Dakota Access Pipeline protest site to offer his continuing support.

DiCaprio who had heard of this new young band that has been writing songs about the Pipeline Protest decided to wear a creepy clown Halloween costume and walk by their garage to check them out.

Obviously, based on the eventual outcome, this initial meeting between Leo and Mind Probe went very well.

The band Mind Probe is made up of: Klaus Iminoff (age 15, keyboard and guitar), Kirk Jolander (age 16, keyboard and bass) and Zane McShtix (age 17, “born to play drums”).

“Their unique and hard-hitting music is an amalgamation best described as half punk, half rap, and half rock,” says Rolling Stone senior critic Anton Kurzweil III. “They’ve written some incredible songs together which are almost exclusively about the Dakota Access Pipeline protest imbroglio.”

Some of Mind Probe’s songs include: Lay Some Pipe, Foil The Oil, Zero Ground, Holy Imbroglio, and Reply To All (which will all be available in time for Christmas on their first CD which is entitled Garage Sale).

Gawk Tour Bus To Visit Pipeline Protest Site Without Getting Involved

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Sign up now for the next Gawk Tour Bus trip to see the Dakota Access Pipeline Protest up close.

Sign up now for the next Gawk Tour Bus trip to see the Dakota Access Pipeline Protest up close.

Dapl, ND – Have you been wanting to see what’s going on with the Dakota Access Pipeline protesters without really getting involved?

Would you like to watch history in the making while a major altercation is playing out?

Gawk Tours will soon be taking groups of people to near the front lines of a major national news story while sitting comfortably in a tour bus sipping fresh coffee and snacking on scones.

Gawk Tours is a division of the Rubberneck Corporation which has been safely giving onlookers easy access to major happenings such as aftermaths of hurricanes and flashpoints of social unrest for years.

Gawk Tour president Stanley Ogler: “Instead of having hundreds of cars doing the rubberneck drive-by of some point of interest, we put them all in a big bus and make it a fun group learning experience.”

If you would like to join the next Gawk Tour to go see angry people getting ready to camp outside during a North Dakota winter, simply sign up and wait at one of the many convenient pick-up points using the new Gawk Tour app. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your camera!

Zen Poets Group To Protest That ‘Blank Lines Matter’

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Blank Lines Matter!

Blank Lines Matter!

Zenda, Wisconsin – A group of minimalist Zen monks are forming an official protest group called: Blank Lines Matter!

As writers of Zen Koans and haikus, these humble Zen monks also believe that: Blank Lines Matter!

“As minimalists, we truly believe that a blank line is even more powerful than a non-blank line”, meditated Zen monk Basho (which means Banana Tree).

“When we look at a blank page of paper, full of blank lines, we are almost overwhelmed by its perfection and potential.”

If you too feel that Blank Lines Matter!, you are cordially invited to join the Zen monks at any of their Zen monasteries to drink the ceremonial green tea and crunch on candied crickets.

Feel free to express yourself by making protest signs that somewhere include: Blank Lines Matter!

Basho says don’t forget to include some blank lines on your protest poster.

Basho also wishes you a lifetime of peace and tranquility and reminds you to always remember that: Blank Lines Matter!

Basho’s Top Ten Zen Proverbs

Bowler Union Plans Multiple Strikes

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Bowler Union planning multiple strikes to gain respect.

Bowler Union planning multiple strikes to gain respect.

Bowling Green, Kentucky – The Professional Bowlers Union says it is planning multiple upcoming strikes throughout the country in an effort to gain more respect from the rest of the sports world.

Spokesperson Parker Fonebone III said “it is high time that professional bowlers started getting some more respect from the curlers, fencers, and ping pong players.”

In recent years, bocce ball and cornhole have even passed bowling on the national Sports Respect rankings.

If you drive by your local bowling alley and see protesting bowlers outside, honk your horn to either:

1. Show your support for the pro-bowlers union strike, or

2. Let them know it’s time to get back to work!

Either way, they will know that you care enough to honk at them.

Topless PETA mermaids protest fish murder

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Fargo, ND – This afternoon in downtown Fargo, two fearless PETA ladies dressed up as mermaids in the name of fish preservation. The Observer is glad to know that the dead geographical center of the North American continent is getting a stern warning against the consumption of seafood. Do the PETA babes not realize how far away we are from the sea? We couldn’t be any farther from the goddamn ocean, yet there they sat on the corner of 2nd and Broadway defending seafood.

Wait…don’t I sound like an idiot, bitching about topless women? Forget I said anything. It is highly likely i’m just bitter that neither of the women would let me hold their sign NOR would they autograph my favorite lobster bib.