Tag Archives: tie

Fargo Couple Plans Outdoor Wedding During Blizzard

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Blizzard Warning may be problematic for Fargo couple’s outdoor wedding.

Fargo, ND – Back on a beautiful day in September, during the initial planning phase of their rather large wedding ceremony, it seemed like such a great idea to have an outdoor wedding on the Thursday right after Christmas.

Even though some weather forecasters are now predicting two feet of snow along with gusts of 50 mph, Alvin Maja and Natali Karthika are still planning on going ahead with their outdoor wedding.

Some in their wedding party (and also many invited guests) are suggesting to the couple that they have a Plan B (which, in this case, could stand for Blizzard).

“Unfortunately, our Plan B is the same as our Plan A, so we are just hoping the weather clears up and is nice for us, to have our wedding outside, and that the musicians can play their instruments OK,” says the wedding couple, with their fingers crossed.

ND Lawmakers Vote To Cut Their Own Pay And Always Wear Jeans

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North Dakota to wear jeans while making state legendary again.

Bismarck, ND – Following the new theme of reinventing government, North Dakota lawmakers have voted to cut their own pay by 15%.

“This will show the legendary people of North Dakota that we are serious about making North Dakota great again,” said a blue jeans-wearing caucus leader during an afternoon tea break.

The full legislative body also voted unanimously to make the wearing of blue jeans the new official state protocol pants when those who were elected to represent the people of North Dakota are in session to make North Dakota legendary again.

“We feel that blue jeans represent us rolling up our sleeves and trying to actually get some real work done for our constituents who are probably back home also wearing jeans in the towns and precincts that we represent,” said a senate leader who was working his lariat to rope up his caucus members for a chamber vote.

Legendary studies have also shown that people are way more productive and “just work better”, if you will, when they don’t have to wear a fracking suite and tie which are quite constrictive in more ways than one.

Yes, my friends, there is now a new feeling in Bismarck and throughout the rest of the legendary state of North Dakota that our best days are in front of us, if we all just stand arm-in-arm, singing in perfect harmony, while always wearing blue jeans…and a sweater.

Professional Hockey Game Ends In Tie

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pat-lafontaine

Bummer.

Edmonton, Alberta—A professional sporting event sadly ended in a tie, the Observer has learned. The Edmonton Oilers hosted Calgary Flames in a National Hockey League matchup last Saturday that unfortunately finished with a 0-0 score. Both teams took the ice for no reason.

The Flames rode their team charter bus all the way to Edmonton only for it not to matter. The game ended after three whole 20-minute periods, an overtime period and a shootout in which zero, count ’em, ZERO goals were scored. Buzzkill.

The finish to this colossal misuse of time was met with shrugs and eye-rolls from many fans and players in attendance. Calgary defenseman Pierre Svodba had his thoughts:

“I always love riding cramped in the back of a bus for 3 hours, especially when it’s for no good reason at all,” he remarked, frustrated. “A tie in sports is just ridiculous, eh? It’s like two guys winning the lottery but getting none of the money. It’s like sharing a bed with your sister. It’s like meeting the girl of your dreams, but she’s an alien freakazoid who lives on Mars. It’s like having sex but ejaculating into the garbage. A total waste.”