Some Rejected UND Nicknames Maybe Worth Another Look

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Sitting Bull still standing outside The Ralph

Grand Forks, ND – With the Fighting Sioux nickname being run out of town by the NCAA, the Grand Forks Herald recently made available the list of all the submitted alternative nicknames for UND.

Some of the ideas that were submitted are being considered to be finalists, and naturally, some are not. Let’s face it: not every one can be a winner.

Here is a list of the Top 20 nickname ideas submitted by sports fans which the FM Observer feels are the best ones NOT making the cut. Let’s call these the Best-of-the-Worst! They are in no particular order and followed by the fan’s explanation.

TOP 20 BEST-OF-THE-WORST UND NEW NICKNAMES:

Alcoholics Anonymous: We can share our love of alcohol with the entire community while inspiring the area to get past any problems with alcohol.

Flying Squirrels: Have you ever walked on campus? They are everywhere!

Fricking Frackers: It’s obvious. ND was headed for oblivion and then came the fracking energy boom. Fracking is paying the bills. The mascot could be the poison symbol found on toxins. Would be uniquely North Dakotan. Very catchy!

Emergency Room Werewolves: Honors the medical school while adopting a mascot which will not offend any group.

Libtards: Because Libtard Assfuckery has cost the people of ND millions so far. Why not more?

Jackalopes: The fictitious animal lobby is not very strong so this nickname should stand for a while.

Fighting Asparagus: Because UND is green and asparagus can inspire the fans. Veggies are good.

Choke Artists: Every year they can’t win a title.

Saltine Crackers: Mild, white, and underwhelming, this name aptly embodies the culture of the university.

Fighting Attorneys: UND has a great law school and students can chant Sue! Sue! Sue!

Drunk Fighting Racists: Perfectly encapsulates ALL North Dakota fans as well as being a throwback to the old Fighting Sioux nickname you insensitive assholes.

SmallPox: Because it killed the Sioux.

Zombies from UNDead: Zombies are really “IN” right now. The mascot/nickname would be EPIC!

Road Conditions: First listing when I Googled: “North Dakota”.

Land Sharks: Sharks are noble animals that defend their home territory with vigor. They don’t make sense on the Great Plains so the “Land” is added.

Moderate Muslims: Not a real thing so no one can claim offense.

Wood Ticks: How ticked off would a wood tick get if a wood tick would get ticked?

Here are a few extra submissions that apparently needed no explanation:
Backdoor Lumberjacks
Feral Farmers
Puck Sluts

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Johnnny

Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)
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About Johnnny

Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)