Advice: What To Do If Your Dog Thinks He’s Darth Sidius

January 23rd, 2015 | by Nick

Is your dog the ruler of the Galactic Empire?

Perhaps you’ve noticed your dog doing strange things lately? I know I have. Recently, my dog has been wearing a blanket like a cloak, glaring at me with sinister, glowing eyes and growling eerie renditions of Star Wars movie quotes. When he’s bored he loves to huddle under his cloak and mutter “send a fleet to the far side of Endor” in between bites of his Nylabone.

My dog thinks he’s Darth Sidius.

This behavior is all-too common in young animals as they adjust to the changing seasons. It happens most frequently in winter months, during which they don’t spend enough quality time outdoors. They become restless. Fearsome. Drunk with the mystic powers of the Dark Side.

But don’t panic! Your dog will cease his concerns over Luke Skywalker becoming a Jedi all in due time. The trick is to play along. Answer his growls with a retort similar to one that Darth Vader would have given during Return Of The Jedi. He’ll love it! Eventually, he’ll return to his playful, non-Emperor Palpatine self—just as soon as you convince the younger Skywalker to join the Dark Side as a Jedi Master.

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Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.