Are You A Loser?

June 11th, 2013 | by Johnnny
Are You A Loser?

Are You A Loser?

Loser Creek, Missouri – Have you ever wondered if you’re a Loser?

Ever honestly wondered if your personality categorization might not quite make it into the normal range?

The U.S. Federal Census Bureau has come up with an easy self-test that you can do in private to see how you stack up with your neighbors.

Dr. Herman Nanna, Ph.D. has crunched decades of national census data down into one simple little quiz so you can determine if you are currently a Loser.

Warning! If your test results should indicate that you fall into the Loser range (1-49), this is not necessarily a permanent condition.

There is a wonderful 12-Step program available to Losers that can be explained to you at your local L.A. meetings (Losers Anonymous).

–How To Find Out If You’re A Loser–

Grade yourself in each of the following categories:

(1 is the least, and 10 is for the most)

On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how awesome would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how funny would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how happy would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how helpful would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how honest would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how low-maintenance would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how optimistic would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how polite would you say you are? ___
On a scale of 1-10, how smart would you say you are? ___

Using a calculator, add up all ten of your above scores.

How to interpret your test results:

1-49…Sorry to say, but you’re a loser.
50-74…You’re OK, but there’s much room for improvement.
75-89…You are exceptionally normal and have potential.
90-100+…You are totally awesome!

There’s no need to report your score to the government, because “they” already know who you are, what you are, and where you are – at all times.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.