Area Man Injured By Falling Gas Prices

January 2nd, 2015 | by Nick
Prices are falling everywhere.

Gas prices: falling all over the place

Fargo, ND—Local man Tarto Burstwalter is suing Phillip’s 66 after he claims he was hit by falling gas prices. The sudden drop was such a jolt that it left him paralyzed from the waist-down.

“Never saw this sharp a drop coming,” said Burstwalter from inside a hospital bed. “When the prices fell, I tried to get out of the way but couldn’t. I was hit. When I came to, I was in the hospital, couldn’t flex my ass cheeks and gas only cost two bucks.”

Burstwalter’s personal injury lawsuit against Phillip’s citing “extreme negligence” and “ass distress” is currently under review.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.