Fargo To Legalize Pot Holes

March 27th, 2013 | by Johnnny

pothole1PM1Fargo, ND – In what some consider a bold move, the City of Fargo is highly considering legalizing pot holes and breaking with long-standing Federal Law.

Some states have recently gone the route of legalizing what many find to be a societal nuisance. After hashing it out to some late-night Pink Floyd, Fargo officials are now showing indications they might be ready to legalize the ubiquitous “problem”.

Those in favor of legalizing pot holes say their existence is just a reality of life, put here by Doctor God, and that people just need to learn to get real, and adapt their minds to reality.

They point out that since Fargo is way too busy fighting floods and mosquitoes, and because we don’t seem to be winning the war on pot holes, legalizing them is what makes the most sense to anyone who cares.

Fargo Police are totally not stoked about the idea of legalizing pot holes. These badged law enforcers argue that everyone knows that pot holes are a gate-way problem that can lead a neighborhood into deeper problems, eventually increasing crime rates and reducing property values. Officer Merv Climeworth rapped: “Show me a street with pot holes and I will show you a street with cracks, lots o’ cracks.”

The Fargo Street Department has long had a special website to allow citizens to anonymously report pot holes. Despite much supposed hard work to maintain Fargo streets, pot holes push their way to the street surfaces.

One Street Department worker mumbled: “Those darn pot holes seem to multiply like frickin weeds in the Spring. It’s crazy out there!”

His supervisor jumped in: “Ever since pot holes were demonized in the movie Pot Hole Madness, they’ve been given quite the bad rap with mucho negative connotations. Do you know what I’m saying?”

Tom Wilson once thought: “Mondays are the pot holes in the road of life” which shows the level of hatred held by at least one person toward the main subject of this article.

The last word on this whole pipe-dream of a project goes to Harry Bong who tweeted: “Everyone, just take a chill pill, man. If you don’t like ’em, just steer to swerve. Don’t pop a joint out of your shoulder socket, cuz you’re freakin out, dude!”


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.