West Fargo, ND – Here are your Public Service Announcements offered freely and voluntarily from the FM Observer for the weeks of January 24 to February 7 in no particularly discernable order:
☺Clem Erdman has begun selling Acme cleaning products that are almost guaranteed to be the best cleaning products you have ever boughten [sic] from a sidewalk salesman.
☺The Job Training Centre will be offering free instruction for the following jobs: Chimney Sweeps, Sewer Inspectors, High-Altitude Window Washers, Grave Diggers, and Paralegals.
☺Martha Wippler has a decorative vase that she would like to give to a good home. She says it was given to her by her aunt Betsy Maye who went to Korea in search of an adoptee.
☺Dawn Slanders will be hosting a live cooking demonstration at the former Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Dawn will be sharing her secrets on how to make toast.
☺The Family Walk-In Clinic is planning a free seminar on what to do with your pain medications that have passed their expiration date.
☺Stanley Flash needs someone to help him figure out how to use the new smartphone which was recently sent to Stan by his son Jumpin’ Jack.
☺Is your gambling problem causing problems at home? Join a roundtable discussion group which meets at the Black Jack tables in the Bamboo Lounge every Thursday night from 8 until midnight.
☺Debi Tica has 30 cases of Diet Coke for sale for only $2 per case after Debi recently got diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
☺Now that the spring melt has begun, Ernie Munnie needs someone to clean up his back yard where his dog Biscuits spends a lot of time barking at nothing.
☺The Integration Institute will be teaching English as a second language specifically for people from Somalia. Baro inaad Ingiriisi wax wanaagsan ku hadal.
☺Euell Eskelson has a few openings for ukelele lessons. Euell claims he can teach anyone to play ukelele like a pro in less than a year.
☺The Caregiver Support Group will be having a wine tasting party featuring 18 wines from the Upper Midwest region. Participants will be invited to vote for their top ten favorite wines.