How To Prepare For The Coming Ebola Pandemic

September 8th, 2014 | by Johnnny
The best way of avoid getting the Ebola Virus is with self-imposed quarantine.

The best way to avoid getting the Ebola Virus is with isolation through a self-imposed quarantine.

Eboli, Italy – The World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control are suggesting that now is the time to prepare for the next coming global pandemic from the Ebola Virus Disease.

Dr. Klaus Sphinxter says: “If you take ‘dem’ out of pandemic, you get panic.” These organizations do not want to start a panic situation, but are saying the time is now to prepare yourselves.

Here are some notes to help you survive the coming global Ebola pandemic and help you start preparing now for coming challenges during uncertain times ahead:

1. Have no direct social contact – if you do, avoid contact with bodily fluids of people infected with the Ebola Virus.

2. Get your Christmas shopping done early.

3. Stock up on all the basics like water, food, batteries, medical supplies, and nacho doritos.

4. At the stores, don’t mention why you’re doing a stock-up. The 1st rule of stocking up for the Ebola pandemic is: Do not tell anyone that you’re stocking up for the Ebola pandemic!

5. Consider buying some dehydrated water.

6. Have an in-door greenhouse garden to grow your own sustainable foods.

7. Have contingency back-ups for loss of utilities and sanitation.

8. Consider different defense plans.

9. Build your very own underground secure bunker.

10. Protect your property with a chain link fence (or a wall) and put up a sign indicating that all trespassers will be challenged.

11. Have an anti-Ebola protective gear outfit and mask for each member of your family.

12. Order drone-delivered pizzas.

13. Make and stock your own sustainable Koi Pond.

14. For any children’s problems, learn how to be a home pediatrician.

15. Avoid other family illnesses such as Pink Eye.

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either or or :o)