Ray Rice Challenges Any Woman To Fight Him In An Elevator

November 20th, 2014 | by Johnnny
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“I know I can beat you and I will defeat you”, rhymes Ray Rice

Baltimore, Maryland – Short on cash since he was banned from football, Ray Rice has challenged any woman to fight him in a casino elevator.

The former Baltimore Ravens running back says he is not afraid to fight any woman in an elevator, just as Andy Kaufman bravely dared to fight any woman in the Professional Wrestling ring.

To help raise some needed money for the unemployed football player, these events will be shown live on a Pay-Per-View Channel via hidden elevator security cameras.

Interspersed throughout the broadcast, Ray Rice will be shown doing some taped cooking segments in which he will demonstrate 1. how to beat the crap out of eggs for the perfect omelette, 2. how to tenderize meat by pounding the hell out of it, and 3. how to whip cream real fast.

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)