Super Fans Will Blow Storm Clouds Away

May 27th, 2015 | by Johnnny
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Dr. Martin Zeeb proudly unveils his Super Fans.

Fanshawe, Oklahoma – The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) now possesses the capability of eliminating bad storm clouds.

A special team of scientists led by Dr. Martin Zeeb have finally perfected the means by which we can literally blow nasty clouds out of the sky.

Dr. Zeeb explains: “By using a series of massive high-tech fans, we can create a very focused wind vortex which will cause the dissipation of cloud formations.”

Testing went from computerized modeling to large indoor laboratories and finally culminated with full-scale outdoor trials.

Recent declassified test results show that these truck-mounted fans use space station technology to produce a maximal torque ratio not unlike a jet engine.

When no storm clouds are threatening, the fans can be rented to scare the living shit out of your friends while they unexpectedly sit comfortably in their tranquil homes.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.