Tag Archives: pond

MN Pond Scum Being Sold As Organic Herbal Muck

Leave a reply
caption here

Miraculous Medicinal Muck

Somewhere, Minnesota – A group of resourceful environmental herbologists with a special knack for marketing organic health products will soon be selling pond scum (Pondis Scumius Major) carefully gathered from certain hard-to-reach Minnesota pond areas.

Packaged as Organic Medicinal Muck (OMM), this amazing herbal pond scum has been shown by OMM-certified scientists to possibly have some sort of effect on people who suffer from a wide spectrum of diseases, including: •Amebiasis •Brucellosis •Coxsackie Virus •Dengue Fever •Ehrlichiosis •Fifth Disease •Glanders •Histoplasmosis •Impetigo •Jejunal Atresia •Kawasaki Syndrome •Listeriosis •Monkeypox •Nongonococcal Urethritis •Osteoporosis •Psittacosis •Q Fever •Ringworm •Shigellosis •Tularemia •Urticaria Pigmentosa •Vancomycin Resistant Enterococcus •West Nile Virus •Xerophthalmia •Yersiniosis and •Zoonoses.

Organic Medicinal Muck will be available in many different user-friendly forms: •Raw (straight from the pond) •Dehydrated •Ointment •Salve •Pill •Capsule •Gelcaps •Extract Concentrate •Soap •Tea •Burgers •Cake •Shake •Snortable Powder (only available in some states) •Injectable Medicine •Facial Cream •Doggie Biscuits •Cleaning Pads and as •Acrylic Paints.

If you are a motivated self-starter who would like to sell Organic Medicinal Muck door-to-door, please apply in person at any of the OMM branch offices.

Company president Dr. Paplo Poinbank says: “These products practically sell themselves, plus OMM can also be used as a mantra for your next relaxation meditation.”

Koi Ponds Provide Hungry Families With Unlimited Fish

1 Reply
caption here

Don’t need to be koi Roy, just get yourself free.

Fishtrap, Kentucky – Vegetable gardens are a great way for budget-conscious families to reduce their food costs, which have been on the rise lately due to increasing governmental regulations.

Another great way to save money, and which is quickly gaining popularity around the country, is to build your own koi pond.

Koi are Japanese carp which are known for their beauty and taste.

“Having your very own koi pond in your backyard is a wonderful idea” says Ms. Sue Dohnim, president of the National Carp Foundation. “If you have a well-stocked koi pond, you are smart. If you don’t, you’re stupid.”

Just imagine being able to go out and fish for fish for dinner. And there are so many different ways to prepare the slimy suckers: carp cakes, carp salad, carp sandwich, carp in beer, deep fried carp chips, poached carp, pickled carp, carp gumbo, steamed carp, carp fries, grilled cheese carp, buttermilk carpjacks, carp chowder, carp burgers, sweet and sour carp, carpsicles, spicy cold carp soup, serbian carp, baked carp, carp sausage, carp milkshakes, river carp tacos, northern carp stew, southern carpuppies, eastern carp sushi rolls, and midwest carp casserole.

If that’s not enough to make you hungry, try fasting for three days and then walking by your neighbors backyard after they just finished stocking their brand new koi pond with twenty multi-colored koi fish.

For more information on building your own koi pond, call 1-800-KOI-POND, or simply click on healthcare.gov and ask to speak with a convicted navigator.