The New Duplicator Machine Can Duplicate Anything!

January 31st, 2015 | by Johnnny
Whatever you put in here, you will get two! Now available wherever machines are sold!

Whatever you put in here, you will get two! Now available wherever machines are sold!

Dupo, Illinois – If you were waiting for the next new big thing by way of inventions, wait no longer. What some may think is straight out of an episode of Star Trek, is now a reality.

Brought to you by the same folks who brought you time travel, The DupliTron 3000® allows Joe Consumer to virtually and literally clone anything he can cram inside.

Just imagine being able to create a back-up of that beautifully expensive engagement ring you just purchased for your future ex-wife. Simply put it in The DupliTron 3000® and presto, you now have two!

Here’s how it works: You place an object inside the DupliCation Chamber, close the door, set your DupliCation Coordinates on full blast then hit the ‘Start’ button. The DupliTron 3000® then arranges your item’s molecular structure in just such a way that it clones each and every atom. Presto! You now have two of the same object!

Here’s what some stunned people are saying about The DupliTron 3000®:

“I am totally stunned,” said Merv Bankwood from Golden Grove, AZ.

“Seeing is believing but I still don’t,” admitted Blanche Paterson from Ronco, TX.

“Maybe I’ll buy two of them!” opined JJ Tatonio from Hato Candal, CA.

Inventors of the DupliTron 3000® strongly advise against attempting to clone anything twice. Don’t be greedy! This will result in a loss of fidelity much like what happens at the Pet Sematary. Any twice-cloned items will come out disfigured and rank with pure evil. Do not do this! You can’t sue the company if you’re dead.

Look for your DupliTron 3000® at any stores where cool stuff is sold. With your very own duplication machine, your imagination is the only limit!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.