Tag Archives: burning ban

Controlled Burn That Got Out Of Control Now 50% Contained

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“Controlled Burn” that suddenly became an uncontrolled burn is now only about 50% contained.

Burnstad, ND – Highly trained governmental environmental workers trying to do a controlled burn helplessly watched it suddenly get out of control when winds began to gust up out of nowhere.

“Yeah, no, what began as our controlled burn, ah, quickly changed over to what we call an uncontrolled burn,” reports Luton Crofoot, who lit the original fire with a casual flick of his cigarette butt.

Luton added: “Maybe we should’ve paid better attention to thee, ah, windcast for the time period in which we planned to stage our, ah, controlled burn.”

Fire containment experts on the scene estimated that the out-of-control controlled burn is now approximately 50% contained.

However, they do admit that the 50% that is not contained is 100% out of control as environmental workers try to set additional back fires which are also getting out of control thanks to the wind.

Ironically, all of the charred letters in Luton Crofoot can be hotly re-arranged to spell: Out Of Control!

Burning Ban Does Not Include Throwing Lit Cigarettes Out Car Windows

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What’s the big deal about throwing a burning cigarette butt out a car window during a burning ban?

Fargo, ND – Moderate drought conditions in North Dakota are sparking burning bans to be implemented on both the state and county levels.

The extremely dry conditions due to Global Drying have precipitated government leaders to douse all fire-related activities until further notice.

So, using covered firepits for social gatherings, singing around the campfire, making bonfire s’mores, and controlled burns on windy days are now all considered to be unacceptable activities and could put you in the hot seat.

However, the tossing of burning cigarettes from cars is still an acceptable habit.

All drivers who smoke know that it would be such a disgusting inconvenience to have to put a smoke out in their clean unused ashtrays.

Throwing the last of a hot burning cigarette out the car window has never been considered to be littering or a potential fire hazard, even if it happens to roll off into a ditch full of parched dry brown grasses.

Cliff Uckerson says of this practice: “Yeah, it ain’t no big deal. Once I toss it out the window, it’s gone. I ain’t gunna see it again.”

With strict new burning bans going into place to prevent widespread fire disasters, it would be asking way too much to request that smokers discontinue the ritual of flicking their burning butts out the car window.