Tag Archives: easy money

FMO’s Insurance Desk Now Offering Weekend Insurance!

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FMO’s Weekend Insurance turns a bad weekend into a not-so-bad weekend :o)

Eastern West Fargo, Southeastern North Dakota – Yes folks, you read it right! FM Observer (which shall be referred to as FMO, or The Company) has now directed our FMO Insurance Desk to offer our readers Weekend Insurance!

For a limited time, and for a limited time only, the FMO Insurance Desk will take in larger amounts of premium from you every month, and then pay you much smaller amounts of money if and when the weather totally ruins your weekend!

To those of you smart ones who select the No-Bullshit Upgrade: “It’s such a pity when the weekend turns shity” but at least you’ll be marginally compensated for it…but only if you have: FMO Weekend Insurance!

Jandro Gladstone: “I am a true believer in FMO’s Weekend Insurance, and I really like their No-Bullshit Upgrade, which is only $10 more per month!“

So, just remember, if the weekend is a total loss (like this weekend), FMO’s Weekend Insurance might be just what you’re looking for…along with a free Bloody Mary to our first five customers!

FMO Insurance Desk’s Weekend Insurance: “When it rains, we’re your rainbow.” [Sorry, no pre-exisiting conditions allowed.]

Dr. Finance: Should I Buy Some Lottery Tickets For The Mega Jackpot?

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When the lottery jackpot gets up to a billion dollars, Dr. Finance says it’s time to go All IN.

Jackpot, Nevada – Dear Dr. Finance: You’ve previously stated that gambling is a tax on the stupid. But would you say it’s OK to buy a lottery ticket when the jackpot gets up over a billion dollars? Thanks, Zephania Winther

Dear Zephania: Buying lottery tickets normally is something I would not recommend. Since the odds are so against you, any sort of gambling is definitely a tax on the stupid.

However, when the jackpots reach ridiculous levels, such as the Mega-Millions lottery game, it then becomes time to go all-in.

At this juncture, I would strongly recommend that you buy as many Mega-Millions lottery tickets as you can comfortably afford.

I myself am using the equity in my home to purchase as many tickets as I can between now and the time of the next drawing.

The chance to win a giant jackpot of $1.6 Billion rarely comes along, so, to answer your question: I would say it’s more than OK to give it a shot because someone has to eventually win it and it might just be you!

To be super proactive, you may want to have the phone numbers of a good accountant and attorney near by.

Dear Dr. Finance: Is This A Good Time To Buy Gold?

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Dr. Finance has almost completely filled the FMO corporate break room with gold bars.

West Fargo, ND – We recently received a question for our very own Dr. Finance from a Mr. Don Salberg.

Mr. Salberg writes: Dear Dr. Finance, Is this a good time to buy gold?

Dear Don: Yes it is! As the chief financial officer for the FM Observer Corporation, I have green-lighted the buying of gold bars for some time now.

If you buy on a regular basis like we have been doing, you will be able to dollar-cost-average your way into the gold market.

With gold at about $1,200 per ounce, this does seem to be a favorable time to purchase gold.

The FM Observer break room is now almost completely full of pallets of gold bars, and we plan on buying more until there is no more room.

Ironically, all the letters in Don Salberg can be electroplated to spell: Golden Bars!

To Show Respect, They’re Leaving Barbara Bush On The One Dollar Bill

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First Lady Barbara Bush will happily remain on the one dollar bill until further notice.

Washington, DC – Out of respect for former First Lady Barbara Bush, the Treasury Department has instructed the Federal Reserve to keep her picture on the one dollar bill, as it has been for decades.

As sitting Treasury Secretary, Steven Mnuchin believes we need to stand up and keep honoring former First Lady Barbara Bush by leaving her picture on the dollar bill where she has gracefully been since the Reagan administration.

President Trump, who might have had something to do with this decision, agrees that leaving Barbara Bush on the dollar bill is the right thing to do, while adding: “Someday soon, I would like to see Melania on some of our money, and I think most would agree that would be a really great thing!”

Volunteers Sought For Deja-Vu Clinical Study

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Do U ever have deja vu? Didn’t U just ask me that?

West Fargo, ND – A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.