Tag Archives: impeachment

Chief Justice John Roberts Swears Himself In During Rare Senate Moment

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A rare moment in history sees Chief Justice Roberts swearing in himself.

Washington, DC – Before swearing in all the members of the Senate for the impeachment trial of President Trump, Chief Justice John Roberts had to first swear in himself according to some archaic constitutional protocols.

Justice Roberts #1: Will you place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand?

Justice Roberts #2: Will you place your right hand on the Bible and raise your left hand?

Justice Roberts #1: “Do you solemnly swear that in all things appertaining to the trial of the impeachment of President Donald John Trump, president of United States, now pending, you will do impartial justice according to the Constitution and laws, so help you God?”

Justice Roberts #2: “I sure do…so help me God.”

Then, both Justice Roberts #1 and Justice Roberts #2 together administered the exact same oath to all one hundred senators, who will act as the jury in the impeachment trial of President Trump, so help us God!

“Days Of Our Lives” Soap Opera Being Replaced By Another Called “Endless Impeachment”

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Endless Impeachment will now be taking the place of Days of Our Lives

Washington, DC – Sadly, the long-running soap opera Days Of Our Lives which began in 1965 will soon be terminating due to lack of interest.

However, in its place will be another long-running soap opera called Endless Impeachment which does not suffer from a lack of interest.

Unlike Days Of Our Lives which was an hour-long show just on week days, Endless Impeachment will run 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

President Trump tweeted that he is looking forward to watching Endless Impeachment when he isn’t busy golfing, but thinks the show should instead be called Creatures From The Swamp!

The White House’s Twelve Days Of Impeachment Calendar Is The Latest Trending Christmas Gift

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Gradually open twelve White House windows to mark the twelve days of impeachment.

Washington, DC – First lady Melania is offering a superbly wonderful gift idea for the holidays.

Melania’s Twelve Days Of Impeachment Calendar is an impeccably designed likeness of the White House with twelve adorable little windows that can be opened one per day.

Share the magic of the impeachment process with your family as more and more windows light up.

Since the First Lady fluently speaks six languages, the twelve impeachment windows when opened each announce a different special message in all six of Melania’s spoken languages: English, French, German, Italian, Slovenian, and Serbo-Croatian.

If you’re looking to give the latest hotly trending gift for Christmas, consider Melania’s Twelve Days Of Impeachment Calendar.

Melania in her own words:
French: Ce calendrier de destitution est précieusement divin.
German: Dieser Amtsenthebungskalender ist von unschätzbarem Wert.
Italian: Questo calendario dell’impeachment è preziosamente divino.
Slovenian: Ta koledar obstoja je dragoceno božanski.
Serbo-Croatian: Ovaj kalendar imepmenta je dragocjen božanski.
English: This impeachment calendar is preciously divine.