Tag Archives: pastor

New Church Giving Whole Bottle Of Wine With Communion To Attract New Members

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Each member gets a loaf of bread and a full bottle of wine during communion service.

West Fargo, ND – In an effort to attract and keep new members, the Church Of Bountiful Grace is offering each member a full bottle of wine along with a full loaf of bread at every communion service.

Pastor Loften Wibeto says the Holy Spirits spoke to him with this idea to provide communion participants a full bottle of wine and a warm loaf of bread during each Last Supper, which is celebrated weekly at the Church Of Bountiful Grace.

“In the Book of Psalms, God tells us that wine was created to gladden our hearts,” says Pastor Wibeto as he sips a nice Merlot while writing his next sermon, which is on the subject of spiritual fermentation.

Prayerfully, all of the letters in Loften Wibeto can be re-arranged to spell: Bottle Of Wine!

Today Is The Last Day Of The Beginning Of Your Life

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Photo by Scott Miles, Photo Ambassador, Four Seasons Resort Maui

Here is your Inspirational Message for today from FM Observer’s very own online-ordained Pastor Peter Paul:

Dear Friends: Today, as the sun sets on the horizon, this chapter of your life will be over. Everything up until this point has hopefully prepared you for what lies around the corner.

Tomorrow will begin a new chapter of your life. But first, you might want to look back at: where you’ve been, where you’re at now, what you stand for, who’s standing next to you, and where are all of your belongings?

At this point, if you have not yet reached your full potential, time is starting to run out for you to find your niche in this world. As a famous thespian once said: “You better get your act together before the curtains fall!”

Just remember: You are the author of your autobiography. How do you want your next chapter to start? How do you want the whole thing to end? Who do you want in your bibliography? Where did you put your keys?

Final closing thought: One of your recent fortune cookies is true; you just need to figure out which one.

Profanity OK At Holy Crap Church

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At Holy Crap Church you can swear on a stack of Bibles.

Holyoke, Colorado – At Holy Crap Church, members and guests are encouraged to just be themselves.

If you like to swear a lot, then Holy Crap Church is for you.

The head pastor at Holy Crap Church is Rev. Ralph Coy.

Reverend Ralph believes the Church should accept us for who we are, exactly as is, just like you are when you’re not at Church.

“If profanity is apart of how you express yourself, then that’s fine here,” preaches Pastor Coy.

“Just because you swear your head off at Church doesn’t mean you’re going to hell in a hand basket.”

Ironically, all the letters in Ralph Coy can be re-arranged to spell: Holy Crap!