Tag Archives: zikaphobia

Florida Hurricane Giving Zika Mosquitos A Free Ride To The Entire East Coast

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Mosquitos that carry the Zika are called Mozikos.

Miami, FL – As hazardous Hurricane Hermine passed over Florida, most people were worried about the obvious winds, rains, and flooding from a category one hurricane.

What most people did not realize was that as tropical storm Hermine moved up along the East Coast, the mosquitos that carry the Zika Virus (mozikos) would get transported to new areas of the country.

So now, the toublesome Zika Virus will be spread much further North and much more quickly than previously predicted by the CDC and the FMObserver.

Luckily, your FMObserver has vigilant observers throughout the country who are constantly observing this and other potentially problematic situations, such as the Facebook satellite and Hillary’s hacked email server.

Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes

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#1,234 ranked golfer John Daly says yes to participating in the Zika Games.

#1,234 ranked golfer John Daly says yes to participating in the Zika Games.

Rio, Braziliana – Unexpected opportunities for unlikely Olympic participants are being caused by Olympic qualifiers deciding to not go to the Rio Games due to Zikaphobia.

After years of training, sacrificing, and qualifying for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, many athletes who should be going are not.

Since none of the American Men’s Golf Team qualifiers are participating due to Zikaphobia, players such as John Daly, who is currently ranked #1,234 in the world, are stepping up to represent their country.

In some other Olympic competitions, substitutes with literally zero experience in that sport are volunteering to give it a shot.

Toby Smucker, who has never thrown a shotput in his life, will be representing the USA in the shotput event.

Amanda Garson, who has a chronic bad ankle, will be competing for her country in the Women’s 200 meter hurdle event.

If you would like to participate in the 2016 Rio Games, please contact the American Olympics Committee as soon as possible and indicate what sport(s) you would like to try.