Meadowlands, MN – We are standing at the spot of a LandShark attack.
Some call it the Bermuda Triangle of the North. Others simply call it the LandShark Lunchroom.
Is this for real or just another Facebook Folklore?
Dr. Scarlet Tanager says it is as real as real mayonnaise. “If you got fatally stung by a jellyfish, would that be real?” she asks.
Dr. Tanager, a leading LandShark expert, describes them as having the size of BigFoot, the personality of an African Killer Bee, and more teeth than a Denture Factory.
But why Minnesota? Dr. Tanager says it’s all about the element of surprise. “It would be similar to getting hit by a train, when you’re not even standing on railroad tracks.”
Because of the recent LandShark attacks, Minnesota children no longer go outdoors to play.
A common reason to stay inside is: “I want to play video games and update my Facebook page.” What they’re really saying is: “There’s no fricking way I am going to be an appetizer for a LandShark on the loose!”
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