Boston, MA – The Observer is happy to learn that musician Paula Cole is on cloud nine today after her beloved cowboys were recently discovered to have relocated to the frontier of West Texas where they’ve owned and operated a dude ranch for the past 17 years.
The singer’s popular lament “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” skewered the Billboard top 10 back in 1997 and subsequently earned her a Grammy. She has been criticized as being a “one-hit wonder” but in reality, she was simply too distraught over the cowboys’ disappearance to continue writing commercially-successful music:
“I will admit, i’ve been churning out audible drivel ever since ‘Cowboys’. The fire just wasn’t inside me anymore. I would look for inspiration in empty places…places that the cowboys used to be.”
When asked why they decided to desert Paula Cole and form a dude ranch, the cowboys remarked “Who is Paula Cole and why are you asking us these questions about her?? Leave us alone.”
The Observer is hoping that newfound closure will help Paula Cole turn the corner and start writing inspired music again. Meanwhile, the cowboys have filed restraining orders.