Facebook To Begin Charging Users A $30 Monthly Usage Fee

November 17th, 2016 | by Johnnny
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Half of this new $30 monthly user fee will go towards combating fake news on Facebook.

Menlo Park, CA – In what may come as a surprise to most Facebook users, a new $30 monthly usage fee will begin being charged in 2017.

Many thought Facebook would never start charging a user fee but it was deemed necessary after allegations of rampant fake news on Facebook was believed to cause Hillary to lose the presidential election to Donald Trump.

Experts say that roughly half of the supposedly true news on the internet has been fabricated while half of what’s believed to be fake news is actually completely true.

So, half of the estimated $19 trillion raised by this $30 monthly usage fee will go towards ridding all fake news on Facebook.

Facebook satellite exploding on launch pad.

Facebook satellite exploding on launch pad.

Also, because of the recent explosion of the new Facebook satellite on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, half of the revenue will help put numerous non-exploded Facebook satellites into orbit so the entire world can “like” what everyone’s doing.

The final half of the money raised from the new $30 Facebook monthly user fee will go directly to the top to ensure that Mr. Zuckerberg remains forever richer than the enterprising Carlos Slim from Mexico.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.