For all you Protestants, protest signs like this can be made at Acme dot com slash Chumaker
Southern North Pole – Since saying Merry Christmas is possibly offensive to some, we here at the FM Observer Headquarters want to wish all our faithful readers very warm Winter Holiday greetings, to hopefully help counteract the recent Global Cooling which seems to have overtaken our area thanks to carbon-taxing Algore.
The FM Observer was boldly begun about six years ago by co-founders Cody and Nick, who simply wanted to provide an alternative to all the bad, real news. Cody is sadly no longer with us. Nick is related to Jolly Old St. Nick, who happens to be our Nick’s God-Santa.
After six long years of being at the vanguard of exclusively satirical fake news, we have unfortunately (for some) decided to renew our contract for another six years.
So, for any folks who wished we would just go away like Al Franken is from the Senate…no, we are here to stay – just like Robert Mueller’s never-ending special investigation into possible collusion with the Russians.
West Fargo, ND – A dream of our FMO Founding Fathers will soon come to pass: Having our very own university entirely focused on teaching every asspect of Fake News.
What began as a basic remote summer camp with a few tents will soon proudly be a full-scale university with doors, toilets and even a secretary or two.
FMO University will be the first fully accredited school in the USA offering undergraduate and overgraduate degrees in fake news, satire, creative writing, writing therapy, libel, and humor. Students can focus on one area of study or any combination therein/thereof.
Doctor Jock Livingstone: “As Dean of the FMObserver Univershity, I’m so very proud to represent the future of Fake News for generations to come, as mankind travels down the pathology to its own destiny in the iClouds. You can bet your sweet bippy that this wonderful school of higher learning will be attended by my kids, their kids, and their kids’ kids, and so on and so forth, so help me God.”
Half of this new $30 monthly user fee will go towards combating fake news on Facebook.
Menlo Park, CA – In what may come as a surprise to most Facebook users, a new $30 monthly usage fee will begin being charged in 2017.
Many thought Facebook would never start charging a user fee but it was deemed necessary after allegations of rampant fake news on Facebook was believed to cause Hillary to lose the presidential election to Donald Trump.
Experts say that roughly half of the supposedly true news on the internet has been fabricated while half of what’s believed to be fake news is actually completely true.
So, half of the estimated $19 trillion raised by this $30 monthly usage fee will go towards ridding all fake news on Facebook.
Facebook satellite exploding on launch pad.
Also, because of the recent explosion of the new Facebook satellite on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral, half of the revenue will help put numerous non-exploded Facebook satellites into orbit so the entire world can “like” what everyone’s doing.
The final half of the money raised from the new $30 Facebook monthly user fee will go directly to the top to ensure that Mr. Zuckerberg remains forever richer than the enterprising Carlos Slim from Mexico.