Fargo Man Performs Amateur Exorcism

January 28th, 2016 | by Nick

exorcismFargo, ND – An area man, without the help of a brave Catholic priest, has completely freed his significant other from demonic possession. Blenn Fristle, 42, was able to purge the darkest beast from within his wife Pavia by quickly skimming through the 2013 edition of Exorcism For Dummies.

“I won’t get into it too far, but chapter 4’s Scream Away The Ghost worked damn well in a pinch,” said Fristle. “It’s an easy read. You don’t gotta recite no spiritual hibbajib like they do in movies. You basically yell ‘get out of here, ghost!!’ a buncha times ’til you pass out. And, boom! The devil’s gone.”

Fristle’s wife Pavia isn’t convinced she had ever taken in an evil spirit. “I wasn’t possessed by nuthin’. Blenny just thinks i’m ‘full of the devil’ when it’s that time of the month. It weren’t no damn exorcism.”

The Observer commends Mr. Fristle for standing tall against Satan on his wife’s behalf. Exorcism For Dummies can be found at a bookstore near you.


The following two tabs change content below.

Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.