FMO Hiring Day Will Be A Week From Next Month

April 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny

We want to hire you but can only hire a few to add to our great crew and bring some blood that’s new.

West Fargo, ND – Yes, once again it’s almost Hiring Day at the FM Observer!

Because we’ve lost some impotent associates during this last hectically wonderful year, we’ll be looking to fill some key vacancies in our team line-up, including:

Assistant Vice President, Assistant to the Vice President, Rogue Reporter #2, Field Reporter #3, Head Sous Chef, Numerologist, Executive Psychic, Domestic Engineer, Drone Specialist, Press Secretariat, Safety Council Chairman, Assistant Paralegologist, Research Coordinator, Verbal Judo Bouncer, and Dog Whisperer.

Benefits of joining the FMO Team:
1. Free doggy daycare.
2. No pay and no bonuses.
3. Non-flexible schedules.
4. Team meeting inclusion.
5. No healthcare insurance.
6. Self Esteem booster shots.
7. Free coffee from 5:30-6:00 AM.
8. Focus and Purpose to your life.
9. English as a first language classes.
10. Joy from having found your Last Job.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.