Foolhardy Fargo Men Try Operating A Powerful Magnetron Outside Its Protective Shielding

May 16th, 2017 | by Johnnny

These curious men forgot to protect their family jewels from a very powerful magnetron.

Fargo, ND – Some curious Fargo men broke one of the basic Cardinal Rules of Physics: Never mess with an unshielded magnetron especially while not protecting your private parts.

“Just because you can take a microwave apart does not mean it is advisable to do so,” says Dr. Grant Moen of the Institute For Higher Learning.

Among the many things you can encounter by dismantling a microwave oven are 1. testicular ionization from electro-magnetic radiation and 2. structural isomerism from powerful micro-wavelength waves causing irreversible personal cell deformation.

The three men in question are now resting comfortably in their hospital beds while frequently hitting the morphine button to mitigate the magnetronical pain they have been experiencing since their ill-advised experimentations.

Moral of the Story: Always have protective shielding on, when messing with a microwave’s magnetron.

Ironically, Grant Moen’s molecules can all be re-arranged to spell: Magnetron!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.