Janet Reno Named New Vikings Special Teams Coach

July 31st, 2014 | by Johnnny
Proud to be a Viking!

Proud to be a Viking!

Mankato, MN – Former Attorney General Janet Reno has been named the new Special Teams coach for the Minnesota Vikings.

Just as she was the first woman to serve as the United States Attorney General, she will also be the first woman to serve as a coach in the NFL.

“If I can catch and convict the Unabomber, I can coach a few punters and kickers” she was quoted as saying during a formal press conference.

The talk around the league is that Janet Reno will be a great fit for the struggling Vikings.

The Vikings have had recent trouble with their Special Teams coordinator Mike Priefer, leading to likely litigious activity from former punter Chris Kluwe.

An unknown Vikings spokesperson said: “If anyone can handle litigation, it’s Janet Fracking Reno!”


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.