Fresno, CA – Stage performer Lady Gaga, fresh off one of the most scintillating Super Bowl halftime show performances of the modern era, has formally announced that she will embark on a nationwide “performance art” tour.
The tour, nicknamed the “Gaga-Lactic” tour, will include live shows with Gaga dressed like a Slovakian milk farmer and a misshapen wildebeest moonlighting as a cow.
Gaga and Vivian will perform previously unheard material with songs like:
The show’s Fargo stop will occur at FargoDome the night before the night before the week after the summer solstice, which is coincidentally the anniversary of the very first Holstein cow milking as observed on the ancient Celtic Calendar as the Great Lactic Dawn.
Tickets for this tawdry event, if you can get them, go on sale two weeks from three days after yesterday.