Fargo, ND – Authorities have decided to allow all local cemeteries to be used as paintball game areas. Although some citizens voiced very strong opposition to this move, the vote was unanimous to allow graveyard owners to make extra money by opening them up as paintball parks.
Other regions of the country have toyed with the idea, but the greater Fargo-Moorhead area will be the first to not only allow it, but actually encourage it.
Gene Maxling, who voted for it after he previously had voted against it, explains: “We think paintball enthusiasts from all over the nation will flock to Fargo to use our cemeteries as the ultimate paintball playgrounds.”
Connie Livingstone, who works as a city planner, says that everyone agrees that “cemeteries serve a singular function by providing a home for the dead, but these valuable acres really don’t see much action. By allowing paintball in cemeteries, it will give these wonderful areas a dual purpose.”
The president of the United States Paintball Association is ecstatic about Fargo’s recent decision. Toby Redding wrote on his blog: “We are very stoked that Fargo is opening up its graveyards to our increasingly popular sport. Having all those large headstones to hide behind will be super awesome. Once someone shoots you with a paintball, it will give new meaning to the phrase ‘You’re dead!'”