Rapper DMX Absolutely Destroys George Zimmerman In Celebrity Boxing Match

February 10th, 2014 | by Nick

DMX_GeorgeTampa, FL—In what was billed as a payback matchup for the ages, rap artist Earl Simmons (better known as DMX) went toe-to-toe in the squared circle with murderer George “The Hitman” Zimmerman.

DMX came in at about 165 lbs soaking wet while Hitman came in at a blubbery, shit-eating 233 lbs. This did not bode well for the Hitman as he looked sluggish and afraid–as if someone had stolen his gun. DMX immediately took control with a flurry of “bark! bark!” noises and heavy jab-hook combinations.

The teen killer looked altogether shocked by DMX’s wild array of punches and barks. He took a defensive stance, covering his beady little eyes with his boy-killing fists but it was too late. DMX unloaded on him with the power of a thousand gunned-down neighborhood kids and it was over just about as soon as it started. The referee called a stoppage to the fight at the 31 second mark. DMX by TKO.

During the post-fight interview, DMX explained his strategy:

“I told y’all I was gonna beat the f— outta that punk. He think he hard now? ARF ARF Ruff Ryders! Ride or die!!”

This marks the very first time Zimmerman faced any real physical consequence for the murder of Trayvon Martin. It also goes to show, if you put a pansy in the ring with DMX, there’s going to be an ass-kicking.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.