Replace Your Insomnia With 15 Possible Side Effects

April 4th, 2014 | by Johnnny
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I only sleep with people I love, which is why I have insomnia.

Sleepy Eye, MN – Are you one of the millions of frustrated people who have trouble sleeping at night? Maybe you should consider doing what many other desperate insomniacs do. Perhaps you need to get hooked on Ambien.

Most agree that the best cure for insomnia is sleep. And the best way fall asleep is to pop an Ambien. Ambien lurks under many nicknames, such as: Intermesso, Zolpidemic, Insania, Hypnotica, and Silent Night. If you want your Ambien to work quickly, avoid the “CR” version, which is Controlled Release. The non-CR tablets will hit you like a brick, hopefully knock you out within 15 minutes, and will last for about 2-3 hours, if you’re lucky.

Unfortunately, the possible side effects from taking Ambien include: headaches, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, hallucinations, delusions, increased appetite, increased libido, amnesia, altered thought patterns, loss of balance, poor motor coordination, impaired judgment, uninhibited extroversion, and increased impulsivity.

However, can you imagine trying to fall asleep while you’re dizzy, nauseated, and vomiting, and while experiencing a raging headache, bizarre hallucinations, grand delusions, ravaging hunger, and an off-the-chart libido? Plus, if and when you ever dare stop taking Ambien, your insomnia will rebound with a vengance, way worse than it was before.

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All this might help explain why Ivan Lopez recently went postal during the latest shooting at Fort Hood. He chose to choose Ambien for his problems, just like you can.

When trying to reach Army officials at Fort Hood for comment, they were all zonked out on Ambien. When trying to reach the French pharmaceutical company Sanofi-Aventis for comment (which sells Ambien in the United States), we didn’t understand a fricking word they said because they rudely insisted upon speaking French.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)