Huntsville, TX – The Sam Houston BearKat football players are not sleeping well these days. After their nationally televised 39-13 humiliation by the North Dakota State University Bison, many of their squad members are reporting being haunted by recurring bad dreams. These nightly nightmares involve being chased by a large group of angry, stampeding bison.
Losing two consecutive national championships to the same team is apparently taking its toll. It’s now being referred to as “Bisonitis”.
The Sam Houston University school nurse says she’s never seen anything like it. “These boys are really messed up” says Nurse Ratchit.
Some of the players, who wished to maintain total anonymity, expressed their desire to never have to play the Bison again. One player said: “Just imagine, having a recurring dream about being stampeded, by a herd of angry buffalo.” The girlfriend of another player sadly confided: “My boyfriend, who plays on the BearKat football team, is no longer the same person that he used to be before their big loss.”
And it’s not just the football players that are affected, but also the coaches, some university teachers, and the general SHU student body. The head of the psychology department thinks they might need to bus in counselors to their campus that have special training in sports-related mental trauma.