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Breaking Bad Creating New Crop Of Chemists

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Everything needed to make crystal meth is on the Periodic Table.

Albuquerque, NM – The AMC TV series Breaking Bad recently won a much-deserved Golden Globe award for best dramatic TV series. Bryan Lee Cranston also won a Golden Globe for best actor in a TV dramatic series. He plays a high school chemistry Teacher who must deal with some family issues due to a medical problem.

A top research institution called the Western Area Learning Tree (or W.A.L.T.) has compiled some interesting statistics on the effect that Breaking Bad is having on our culture. One of the main take-aways from W.A.L.T.’s findings is that there is now a significant increase in the number of high School students wanting to go into the field of Chemistry.

Math and science had seen a long and Progressive decrease in interest by students ever since the Sony PlayStation first came out. Since the first Breaking Bad episode, Professor Betsy Carbunkle describes a 10-15% increase in students wanting to go into Chemistry for their chosen field of study when going on to higher education. Betsy says: “It’s quite encouraging that a show like Breaking Bad can have such a positive effect on what’s going on with today’s students.”

Unfortunately, the research is showing that Most of these students want to become chemists so they can learn how to cook their own crystal meth, just like on Breaking Bad. Also of concern, the number of high school crystal meth users has increased a remarkable 4800% since Breaking Bad broke onto the scene.

DeFenders of the show say that just as playing violent video Games doesn’t make youngsters more prone to violence, so does Breaking Bad not necessarily increase society’s usage of crystal meth. Jesse Tweeker said on his Methblog: “I believe that Breaking Bad shows the down-Side of crystal meth usage and therefore ultimately has an over-all positive effect on a generally Negative societal issue facing our country’s future Residents.”

What to do now that Breaking Bad has ended

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Bad: Broken

Bad: Broken

One of the finest television dramas of all time has officially come to a close. It was as fantastic as fantastic shows get. Our main character evolved from a jovial father-figure to a ruthless drug kingpin leaving a trail of utter destruction in his wake and boy, are we hungover.

T H E  F E A R has set in. The feeling of helpless withdrawal. That same feeling an addict gets when his or her stash runs out and there’s no telling when the next fix will come.

The horror! What to do now?? You are flailing. Your Sunday nights will never be the same. Remember the throes of sickness we went through after THE WIRE ended? You don’t? You didn’t see THE WIRE??

Anyway, the issue at hand: You’re freaking out! We’ve Broken Bad and it’s all over but the crying! Hug for you. Everything will be fine. As always, The Observer is here to help.

How to appropriately deal with the loss of a show:

  • Talk about the show with someone who is caught up. It’s unhealthy to process every single nuance of the program yourself. If you try to do that, you will short-circuit your brain. You have to bounce your thoughts off one or more individuals who have opinions on its outcome. Can’t stress this enough. Message boards, forums, tweets and facebook are at your service if you don’t personally know someone who has Broken Bad (but chances are that you do). In so doing, you will form a bond with your fellow Broken Bads and in turn, help each other cope.
  • Watch it again. The show is over. The curtain has fallen….or has it? Walt & Jesse don’t have to be just a memory. They exist in the form of digital download on iTunes and instant streaming via Netflix. Heck, you can even stream the show online for free if you look hard enough (*cough* project free tv *cough cough*). After all, ease of access is what helped make the show so immensely popular. Reboot the show and consume the pilot episode like it’s your first of many heroin blasts.
  • Create a shrine. Cop a boatload of merch. Vamanos Pest work shirts, Walt & Jesse posters, Los Pollos Hermanos lunch bucket, blue meth candy, etc. Compile all of it into a giant Breaking Bad shrine and worship this shrine every Sunday night for eternity.

A simple three-point plan to help you get over your loss. Start this process now because if you don’t, next Sunday you’ll find yourself a borderline-suicidal mess. RIP Breaking Bad.