Tag Archives: child

Woman Lists Infant Child On Ebay

kidforsaleIn another edition of You Can’t Make This Stuff Up (But We Did Anyway), an area mom has listed her infant son, Bemmen, as a bidding item on popular online auction site Ebay.

“Kid was born in a hot air balloon, thought he’d be worth some money,” said societal wretch/mother Backy Stinkhook. “My lil’ Bem came into the world at about 5,000 feet high. Probly the first kid bein’ born way up there! Reserve at $1,000.”

The listing had already risen to 47 bids at press time. Barring any unforseen circumstances (such as Ebay ripping down the listing as it is both highly illegal and completely immoral), young Bemmen will find himself a new hot air balloon by the end of this week.

Mom Gets Daughter Unusual Birthday Gift.

5 year old gets plastic surgery.

Fargo, ND —In a story you think didn’t come from this world, a Fargo mom dropped over 25k on her 5 year old daughter to get plastic surgery and breast enhancements.  The mom admits to herself that it could be viewed as weird to spend that much on such cosmetic things but believes this will help her daughter look younger.  “It has taken years off of her already maturing face,” the mom told us.  “She just doesn’t look like an old lady anymore.”  The mom thinks this will help her daughter break into the entertainment industry and having the surgery will make her daughter look more like her mother.  Apparently her mother, “looked like shit.”

“It has taken years off of her already maturing face,” the mom told us.