Tag Archives: homecoming

Jason Bourne Moving Back To North Dakota After Learning His Identity

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The house he grew up in welcomes Jason Bourne home again.

The town and the house he grew up in welcome Jason Bourne home again.

Oakes, ND –  After learning that he lived and grew up in North Dakota prior to having his brain scrambled by the CIA, Jason Bourne has decided to move home again.

Jason Bourne: I am very much looking forward to once again living in Oakes, North Dakota where I was supposedly raised and in the home where they tell me I grew up. Hopefully I will remember someone there. It would be fun to get out and do some pheasant hunting.

Pamela Landy: After all he’s been through, I am so glad Jason might finally find some normalcy. He is a good guy who unfortunately has been through a lot. Oakes sounds like a perfect place for him to decompress for awhile.

Noah Vosen: We will be keeping a very close eye on Jason Bourne who is still a national asset and hopefully no longer a liability.

Nicky Parsons: If moving to Oakes, North Dakota is what Jason wants to do, I’m glad for him. Since I do love him very much, I may also consider moving to Oakes just in case Jason might be in need of some female companionship.

FMO To Host Incredible Meet & Greet Session With Carson Wentz At Our New Corporate Headquarters

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Carson Wentz coming home for homecoming!

Hall of Fame quarterback Carson Wentz comes home for homecoming!

West Fargo, ND – With the ever-popular Carson Wentz in the area during his NFL bye week after crushing the Pittsburgh Steelers 34-3, the FMObserver will be hosting a special Meet & Greet session with the future Hall of Fame quarterback at our state-of-the-art corporate headquarters in Wentz Fargo.

For the first 10,000 Carson Wentz fans that show up, each will receive a free autographed NFL Carson Wentz jersey for only $50, plus enjoy free Philadelphia-style lobster bisque in a white wine deglazed reduction sauce served over Conchiglie pasta (since it looks like little footballs) for a suggested voluntary offering of $35 to help cover the cost of flying the live lobsters in from Philadelphia via lobster drones.

Then, if the spirits move you, hottub in one of our many corporate hottubs after shooting clay pigeons with Carson Wentz from our rooftop party gazebo while being entertained by the infamous Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders and the band Earth, Wind and Fire.

With thee Carson Wentz in town, it’s time to cancel your meaningless garage sale or pull your kids out of their scoreless soccer games and go catch one of the many free shuttle buses that will be continually transporting folks to and from the Carson Wentz Meet & Greet Extravaganza Celebratorial Event-of-the-Century and remember to bring lots of money for all of the free stuff!