Tag Archives: insane

New Test For Dementia Is Highly Conclusive

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If you see any movement in this image, you probably have some stage of dementia.

Crazy Horse, SD – There is now a new and very simple test for determining pre-dementia as well as full-blown dementia.

This test which was scientifically developed by the Dementia Interrogative Program (DIP) is highly conclusive for indicating if someone such as yourself may be leaning toward dementia.

How it works: When looking directly at this black and white image, if you are seeing any movement within the inner circle, this indicates pre-dementia.

If you see movement throughout the entire image, you most likely are already suffering from full-blown (and previously undiagnosed) dementia.

After taking this simple test, if you would like to privately discuss the results of your test with a trained professional, please call any phone number and ask to speak directly with Dr. Willy Nilly (and mention promo code “FMO” for a free My Pillow!).

Last Sane People On Earth Now Starting To Lose Their Minds

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Let's just try to "hold it together" for a little longer.

Let’s just try to “hold it together” for a little longer, okay?

Valentine, NE – Up until now, the last two sane people living in this insane world were Charles and Beverly Landstrum from Valentine, Nebraska.

But now, unfortunately, the Landstrums have begun to show signs that they too are starting to “lose it”.

When asked for comment, Beverly stated: “Well, I certainly thought I ordered two sour creams from the milk man but unless there was maybe some sort of problem with our Christmas tree being too short we may want to try out for Wheel Of Fortune.”

Charles then stepped in to clarify: “My mother used to make us fresh cookies every Saturday but I wanted to watch cartoons instead. So, can we watch some cartoons now?”

At this time, top federal investigators are unwilling to classify the Landstrums as crazy until they have had much more time to determine whether or not they fall into the strict federal definition of insane.

In Case You’re Not Sure, Take The FMO Sanity Test

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The crazy thing is is that if you are insane, you probably won’t know it, because you probably won’t know if you are insane, or not.

West Fargo, ND – During the lazy hazy crazy days of summer, we here at the FMObserver Headquarters decided to provide a much-needed free community service by rolling out the next installment of our scientifically designed Sanity Test.

It is scientifically designed to determine whether or not you are sane, or not.

If the test does in fact determine that you are not sane, do not panic. The test can be taken over and over until you somehow are determined to not be insane.

1. Simply answer each of the following carefully crafted questions honestly.
2. Email us all of your responses.
3. A real doctor on our staff will contact you and tell you if you’re sane or insane.

FMObserver Sanity Test:

A. Do you own your own straight jacket?
B. Do dogs bark at you for no apparent reason?
C. Do you experience road rage on a regular basis?
D. Do people look at you and think “What the fuck?”
E. Have you recently punched holes in any drywall?
F. After you speak, do others look totally confused?
G. Do you hear voices telling you to do “bad things”?
H. Did you believe that WE Fest 2014 had been cancelled?
I. Do you believe that WE Fest 2015 has not been cancelled?
J. Are there any restraining orders currently against you?
K. Do you often find yourself talking to people on the TV?
L. Do birds land on you while sitting outdoors or indoors?
M. Is Batman real and is he perched on your porch right now?
N. Has a panic attack ever turned into a full-blown meltdown?
O. Are you excluded from your family reunions and getogethers?
P. Do you wear an aluminum foil hat every time you leave home?
Q. Does it seems like Federal Agents are following you everywhere?
R. Do you often misplace the keys to your intergalactic party bus?
S. Do you solely listen to and sing along with County Western music?
T. Do you believe Donald Trump would make a good Commander-In-Chief?
U. Does uncontrollable laugher often turn into uncontrollable crying?
V. Do simple things (like time and money) no longer make sense to you?
W. Are you worried that at any moment you may be swallowed up by quicksand?
X. Are you currently stalking any people who would consider you a stranger?
Y. Have you travelled at a subsonic speed during the last hour of hypersleep?
Z. Have you prepared your surroundings for impending world domination from Moon Man?