New York, NY – As many in the NFL landscape are being made aware today, the New York Jets have finally
released freed the chosen one, Tim Tebow. Tebow, upon hearing the news of his release, had this to say:
“I’m always interested in helping the team win in any way that I can. If it’s not for the Jets, maybe it will be with Whole Foods. I hear they have a thriving deli department these days and it would be an honor to join their system.”
Peyton Manning, having been the first veteran to supplant the Chosen One after being signed by Denver, was surprisingly available for comment:
“I wish Timmy all the best in his new endeavors as deli meat handler. CUT THAT MEAT! CUT THAT MEAT! Haha! No, seriously, Tim. Great job last year during those few snaps. We’ll be cheering for you, bud.”
Manning then proceeded to kneel down while placing his fist on his forehead in a sort of mocking gesture to the celebration of “Tebowing”. The official announcement and press conference is scheduled for 3 p.m. EST.