Paula Deen: Not worthy of being a human
Geneva, Switzerland – The International Human League has unanimously voted to strip Paula Deen of her human status. Recent sub-human activities by Celebrity chef Paula Deen, 66, have forced the IHL Central Counsel Committee to drop her membership to the Human Race.
After her own admission that she had “of course” used the N-word in the past 30 years, Paula Deen has been dropped by more and more companies with whom she used to be in bed, including the Food Network.
But now, after the Queen of the N-Word tried offering some tearful apologies for her crimes against humanity, things seem to be getting worse rather than better.
The president of the IHL, Dr. Jean-Pierre Dubois says: “She is now officially going to be ejected from the Human Race.”
Besides uncountable usages of the N-Word and also being on the receiving end of a messy racial discrimination lawsuit, the owner of Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House has also been documented (by secret NSA wire-tap recordings) as having used many other highly derogatory terms.
The politically-incorrect diva has been caught red-handed using a veritable Alphabet Soup of other land-mine terms, such as:
The A-Word (anti-dentite), the B-Word (bully), the C-Word (crackerjack), the D-Word (democrat), the E-Word (egghead), the F-Word (feminazi), the G-Word (geek), the H-Word (Hussein), the I-Word (idiot), the K-Word (kooks), the L-Word (liberal), the O-Word (oinker), the P-Word (pedophile), the Q-Word (queenie), the R-Word (richers), the S-Word (Sioux), the T-Word (thespian), the U-Word (ÜberBitch), the V-Word (vegetable), the X-word (X-wife), the Y-Word (yellowbelly), and the Z-Word (zealot).
Dr. Jean-Pierre Dubois mentioned that Paula Deen will be joining a growing list of others who have been dropped from the Human Race for their high-crimes against humanity, which includes: Lance Armstrong, O.J. Simpson, The Octo-Mom, John Edwards, Barry Bonds, and Idi Amin.
To be fair to Paula Deen, the FM Observer wanted to give her the last word before this post was published, but her quote was so riddled with F-Bombs and other unprintables that we decided to say that she had “no comment”.