Tag Archives: statement

Morgan Freeman dies, makes statement about Newtown shooting

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Not dead

Not dead

Los Angeles, CA – Morgan Freeman has been a busy man lately. In between dying multiple times in the past year on Twitter (only to come back to life again and again) and being most certainly, 100% dead on Facebook, the famed movie actor with the golden voice has lent his vocal talents and genuine opinion to us via a shared internet post.  A long-winded, blameful statement from Internet Morgan Freeman about the unfortunate event in Newtown, Connecticut went viral over the weekend:

 

“You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here’s why.

It’s because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine?[…]”

 

The purported ‘statement’ continues on as a media-bashing diatribe of epic proportions. Why on Earth the real Morgan Freeman would take to Facebook to make his opinion on this matter known is beyond me. As a matter of fact, it isn’t true. Freeman’s publicist has since contradicted this ‘statement’ with a statement of his own, calling the Facebook blabber a complete fabrication.

It just goes to show you, not everything you read on the internet should be believed. Except the stuff you read on the FM Observer. We would never lie to you. Never! (winky face)

Official Mitt Romney Press Release

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Boston, MA – With the presidential campaign in full swing, Mitt Romney has made very significant strides as the Republican front-runner. He and his running mate Paul Ryan have made their share of gaffes, and yet they trudge on. Next up on the strategery list: the Romney camp has released a statement written by Mitt himself. We bring it to you verbatim, word-for-word:

What a wild ride it has begun so far. My campaign and my family have been working very hard on a considerable campaign. We have traveled the nation, listening to stories about possible voters and undecided voters and what they really need from our Government. Now, as you all know, there has been much skepulation regarding my tax formations. Let me just say this. I have pain taxes in every year of my income. My releases have been released. So now there is no mystery suspicion. We can move on. I am eager to fulfill my guarantee of jobs in my Presidency. The Romney Presidency will have jobs in 2013. This I can guarantee. President Brock Obama has led this country in the wrong path for the last 4 years. Now it’s my turn to lead this path. This is where the men become the boys. Join me, won’t you?

This seems to us like the Romney camp is making well-timed attempt at damage control following this week’s rocky, seemingly fact-less debate performance. That, coupled with this statement of clarification is all part of a larger effort to get this campaign back on the rails. Best of luck to you, Mitt, and may the best man win.