ASAP Fucking Problems

Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week – ASAP Rocky (Fuckin’ Problems) – 02/10/2013

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ASAP Fucking ProblemsTake a deep breath.  You are about to be blown away by a fucking all-star cast of singers on this one.

This weeks Terrible Song Lyrics of The Week are from an ‘artist’ named ASAP Rockey from his single Fuckin’ Problems.  He’s got a whole lot of problems.  Problems of fucking sucking.  This single features the all-star cast of ASAP Rockey, 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar.  What a crew.  Crew full of sucking.

The song starts off with the word ‘fucking’ being used 7 times out of 9 lines of so called lyrics.

I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fucking problem
I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck I got a fucking problem
I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem
And yeah I like to fuck, I got a fucking problem
If finding somebody real is your fucking problem
Bring your girls to the crib maybe we can solve it

Solid lyric writing skills there I must say.  Here is the rest.  This great song goes on to say:

[Verse 1: A$AP Rocky]
Hold up, bitches simmer down
Taking hella long, bitch give it to me now
Make that thing pop like a semi or a nine
Ooh baby like it raw with the shimmy shimmy ya, huh
A$AP get like me
Never met a motherfucker fresh like me
All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me
Put the chrome to your dome, make you sweat like Keith

Cause I’m the nigga, the nigga nigga, like how you figure?
Getting figures and fuckin’ bitches, she rolling Swishers
Brought her bitches, I brought my niggas, they getting bent up off the liquor
She love my licorice, I let her lick it
They say money make a nigga act nigger-ish
But least a nigga nigga rich
I be fucking broads like I be fucking bored
Turn a dyke bitch out, have her fucking boys, beast

“All these motherfuckers wanna dress like me.”  No we don’t.  Seems his lyric writing skills consists of only two things.  Using the word ‘nigga’ as much as possible and talking about fucking women.

Next up is Drake.  Fucking all-star here.

[Verse 2: Drake]
Ooh, I know you love it when this beat is on
Make you think about all of the niggas you’ve been leadin’ on
Make me think about all of the rappers I’ve been feedin’ on
Got a feelin’ that’s the same dudes that we speakin’ on, oh word?
Ain’t heard my album? Who you sleepin’ on?
You should print the lyrics out and have a fuckin’ read-along
Ain’t a fuckin’ sing-along ‘less you brought the weed along
Then ju.. (Okay, I got it)
Then just drop down and get yo’ eagle on
Or we can stare up at the stars and put the Beatles on
All that shit you talkin’ ’bout is not up for discussion
I will pay to make it bigger, I don’t pay for no reduction
If it’s comin’ from a nigga I don’t know, then I don’t trust it
If you comin’ for my head, then motherfucker get to bustin’
Yes Lord, I don’t really say this often
But this long dick nigga ain’t for the long talkin’, I beast

*sigh*  He does save his best writing ability for the end that even John Lennon/Paul McCartney would be proud of.  That is the, “But this long dick nigga ain’t for the long talkin’, I beast” line.

Finally, Kendrick Lamar is up.  Fucking all-star.

[Verse 3: Kendrick Lamar]

Yeah ho, this the finale
My pep talk turn into a pep rally
Say she from the hood but she live inside in the valley now
Vaca’d in Atlanta, then she goin’ back to Cali, mmm
Got your girl on my line, world on my line
The irony, I fuck em at the same damn time
She eyeing me like a nigga don’t exist
Girl, I know you want this di–
Girl, I’m Kendrick Lamar
AKA Benz is to me just a car
That mean your friends-es need be up to par
See my standards are pampered by threesomes tomorrow, mmm
Kill em all dead bodies in the hallway
Don’t get involved, listen what the crystal ball say
Halle Berry, hallelujah
Holla back I’ll do ya, beast

“I can’t write worth a shit and have absolutely zero creativity so I talk about fucking women all the time.” – Kendrick Lamar

If you actually want to watch this shitfest then have at it.

So there you have it.  I think the words speak for themselves.  I’ll simply leave it at this.  Below is one chorus…ONE…from Tupacs song All Eyez On Me.  It blows every lyric ever written by ASAP Rockey, 2 Chainz, Drake & Kendrick Lamar combined together for the rest of their life OUT OF THE WATER.  That tells you something.

I bet you got it twisted you don’t know who to trust
So many playa hating niggaz tryin to sound like us
Say they ready for the funk, but I don’t think they knowin
Straight to the depths of hell is where those cowards goin
Well are you still down nigga? Holla when you see me
And let these devils be sorry for the day they finally freed me
I got a caravan of niggaz every time we ride (every time we ride)
Hittin motherfuckers up when we pass by (when we pass by)
Until I die; live the life of a boss playa
Cause even when I’m high, fuck with me and get crossed later
The futures in my eyes, cause all I want is cash and thangs
A five-double-oh – Benz flauntin flashy rings, uhh
Bitches pursue me like a dream
Been know to disappear before your eyes just like a dope fiend
It seems – my main thang was to be major paid
The game sharper than a motherfuckin razor blade
Say money bring bitches, bitches bring lies
One nigga’s gettin jealous, and motherfuckers died
Depend on me like the first and fifteenth
They might hold me for a second, but these punks won’t get me
We got foe niggaz, and lowriders, in ski masks
screamin Thug Life every time they pass {All Eyez On Me}

 

 

 

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Bill Burns

Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.