National

Aging Presidential Administration Ships Horse Masks To Puerto Rico

San Juan, Puerto Rico – After playfully tossing paper towel rolls to locals seriously affected by hurricane Irma, Donald Trump has seemingly permitted a shipment of latex horse masks to Puerto Rico. To the aid of the...

Eddie Money Cover Band ‘Edward Currency’ To Open For Eddie Money

Mahnomen, MN – An upcoming tour stop for classic rock icon Eddie Money could get even more interesting than it previously was with a last-minute addition to the show’s lineup. The scheduled opening act being forced to...

Fargo American Idol Audition Winner Lied About Age

Fargo, ND – Auditions for the hit game show American Idol took a pit stop in Fargo today with much ado. Both young and old, women and men from parts known and unknown came forth to profess their talents to a small array of...

Area Man Cancels Plan To Follow Solar Eclipse Across United States Using Solar-Powered Jetpack

Fargo, ND – Area mad scientist Viddio Burstweiler wanted to be the first man to traverse a solar eclipse’s entire path of totality as the moon followed it. He noticed that the moon’s umbral shadow will take a...

Trump Administration Considering Travel Enforcement To New Arctic Iceberg

Washington, DC – Last week, in the thrall of a red-hot northern hemisphere summer, the shockingly brittle Larsen C Ice Shelf buckled under the pressure and shed a few trillion tons of unneeded weight. This signifies a huge...

Area Police Setting Up Four Hundred Twenty 420 Checkpoints

Fargo, ND – Via a confidentially anonymous series of trusted fake news sources, the Observer has learned that area police will be staging 420 “420 checkpoints” around the region today. Four hundred and...

Gmail Now Permitting Use Of Emoji In New Email Addresses

Palo Alto, CA – Great news this day for emoji fans and horrifying news for emoji haters. That little smileyface icon you’ve fallen in love with using in messages has taken one step closer to formally joining the...

United Airlines Expecting Insignificant Revenue Shortfall Amidst Controversy

Louisville, KY – $36 billion in annual revenue could turn into a mere $33 billion after video of United airline staff violently re-appropriating or re-accommodating or re-moving or whatever they call what they did to...

Fargo Student Has Seriously Woke Minecraft

Fargo, ND – One Fargo student has taken his Minecraft building talent to surreal levels. Geil Carmeister, 12, has caught the attention of friends, teachers, and the FM Observer with his uncanny ability to depict real...

FM Observer Hiring SPAM Email Answerer

Fargo, ND – Our email address fmobserver@gmail.com has been getting its ass kicked by SPAM lately and our receptionist Blenda has been unable to keep up. Between sifting through the seemingly constant flow of corporate...