Tag Archives: counseling

Xanax Fest Expected To Attract Tranquil Crowd

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Rather sedate attendees expected to attend West Fargo’s new Xanax Fest

West Fargo, ND – A new festival coming to the Red River Valley should appeal to anyone who enjoys a more sedate lifestyle.

Xanax Fest was the brain child of Nira Vam and her super laid-back boyfriend UpJohn.

Mellow music from the relaxing band Alpra Zolam will calm the already placid audience.

“We believe that Xanax Fest will be a serene and restful happening,” says Nira Vam, who hopes this will be the first of many Xanax Fests.

Paranoia counselors from the Pfizer Corporation will be on hand (in curtained privacy tents) for anyone feeling the paranoid side effects from too much Xanax fun.

Emergency Counselors Now Available For Problematic Family Situations

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We here at FECES are here to help you. Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services to the rescue!

Moorhead, MN – Summer means fun and family getogethers which can also lead to domestic disharmonies.

A new governMental agency called Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) is now here to help with an alphabet of problems including: altercations, brawls, conflicts, debates, eruptions, and fights.

If some serious disharmony breaks out during a gathering in your garage, at your lake cabin, or in a restaurant, just call Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) and they will professionally take care of your fecal matter.

When the shit hits the fan after the conversation turns to politics, climate change, or even gender fluidity, remember to immediately contact Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) to make sure everything comes out well in the end.

‘Smiling Depression’ Is Now Considered A Disease Treatable With Drugs

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People that smile a lot need help.

​Death Valley, CA – Did you know that smiling is almost a sure sign of depression?

“Smiling Depression” is something you’ll want to start watching for amongst your family, friends, and co-workers.

People who chronically smile are most likely masking deep and severe depression.

Depressionologists are advising that if you suspect someone of having Smiling Depression, get them to a Certifiable Counselor as quickly as possible.

If you are not depressed and don’t want outside observers to think you are, don’t be doing a lot of smiling.

Conversely, if you are experiencing some major depression and want to hide it, resist the temptation to smile a lot in order to mask it.