Tag Archives: hot dogs

Woman Suing Hot Sauce For Being Too Hot

How hot is too hot?

Hot Springs, SD – An angry elderly woman is suing the makers of a hot sauce called The Ghost for being too darn hot!

Ms. Osucha Hogsett claims that after putting just a small portion of The Ghost hot sauce on her enchilada, she burned her mouth quite badly.

Her litigious attorney, whose name is Bhut Jolokia, says that Osucha now cannot taste anything besides the hot sauce, and her mouth is swollen up like a partially deflated basketball.

Ms. Hogsett and Mr. Jolokia are seeking $4.3 million for both pain and suffering, along with some punitive damages just for good measure.

How does this make you feel? Hot and bothered? Boiling mad? Does it hit your hot button? Should Osucha Hosett strike while the iron’s hot?

Ironically, all the letters in Osucha Hogsett can hotly be re-arranged to spell: Ghost Hot Sauce!

Selling Stolen Pets Becoming Big Business

Your little Trixy could be sold multiple times at underground pet auctions.

Fargo, ND – More and more people in the Fargo-Moorhead area are having their pets stolen. If this isn’t bad enough, these pets are then sold multiple times at underground pet auctions, sometimes while having to wear funny costumes.

The Sheriff’s office says some of the “bad people” are claiming lost pets, getting them from the humane society, or just stealing them from running unlocked cars or out of fenced back yards.

We were able to witness an underground pet auction while wearing a Donald Trump mask. At this auction we saw one small Shih-Tzu originally named Trixy sold as Biscuits for $100, then again by that buyer as Bingo for $200, and then again by that buyer as Flex for $350.

Apparently during winter months, after a dog or cat is stolen, they are then quickly transported through a series of snow tunnels. The problem is getting so bad that some people are hiring guard dogs to protect their pets, but those too are getting stolen.

We asked the Sheriff and one of his deputies what the answer is to this pervasive problem? Their answer was, at least during the winter months, to not allow systems of snow tunnels to be built within city limits.

When learning about how wide-spread the problem is, the astounding number of pets being stolen shocked the Sheriff, but did not shock the deputy.

New Chinese Poodle Puppies Come In Variety Of Colours

You can literally get your Chinese Poodle Pup in any color imaginable.

獣兵衛忍風帖, China – Have you been waiting to get a puppy until new color choices were available? Were you wishing that the colors of Chinese Poodle Puppies were only limited by infinity? Have you been waiting to get a dog that would blow the minds of all your neighbors? Well, your wait is finally over!

Now, thanks to some advanced genetic engineering and a wide variety of new paint colors, you can get your new Chinese Poodle Pup in “pretty much any color or combination of colors” that you might ever want to consider.

Benga Chnikong is the President of the Chinese Poodle Pup Corp: “We are very excited about the future of our industry. After Ping Pong, we hope Chinese Poodle Pups are our second biggest export to the outside world.”

The FM Observer was lucky enough to receive about a dozen Chinese Poodle Pups in a spectral gamut of colours. If you are one of the first twelve people to leave a comment to this post, your name will be entered into a circular file out of which you could win your very own Chinese Poodle Pup. Sorry, only one per person, and you will have to accept the random color you’re given, and no exchanges or returns will be allowed.