Area Outdoor Pianos Maybe Not Such A Grand Idea

August 26th, 2014 | by Johnnny
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A few bad squirrels giving all squirrels a bad name.

Fargo, ND – What perhaps began as a grandiose idea has now ended up in the local landfill.

Fargo police surveillance cameras in the area of an outdoor grand piano were not quite quick enough to record all of the alleged destruction of the piano but did manage to capture an image of the possible suspect (see picture).

Dr. William Soozan is the Executive Director of The Downtown Public Piano Project.

Dr. Soozan says that even though some drunk squirrel is most likely the vandal who chewed up the publicly placed piano, this piano will soon be replaced by many more pianos all over the downtown Fargo area.

“We’re not going to give up the fight to provide free pianos for free people to play free music”, he said. “One or two bad squirrels can chew up our pianos but they certainly cannot chew up our dreams.”

In the future, each piano will be securely chained to some sort of stationary object such as a light pole or fire hydrant in order to prevent them from being dragged off and chewed to smithereens. Also, local weather forecasters will provide The Downtown Public Piano Project with early warnings of any possible rain, sleet, or snow, so that the tarp crews will have plenty of time to protect the pianos from damaging precipitation.

If you perchance recognize the squirrel shown in the above picture, please contact the Fargo Police immediately in order to help prevent future property damage to these publicly playable pianos.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)