FMO’s Suggested List For Your 2018 New Year’s Resolutions

December 30th, 2015 | by Johnnny
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Another chance to start a new chapter!

Fargo, ND – It’s that unfortunate time of year again when everyone is frantically trying to come up with their list of New Year’s Resolutions. And once again, FMO to the rescue!

After many hours of intense focus group studies and eating glazed donuts, we have come up with our suggested list for your 2018 New Year’s Resolutions:

10. Lose more weight than you gain in 2018, unless you’re bulimic, then just the opposite.

9. Spend less time on FaceBook and more time with your face-in-a-book, perhaps @ the local library, to basically people-watch people who don’t have anywhere else to go, and nothing else to do, except look at you.

8. Periodically call the front desk of a large hotel and order room service directly to your home. When they object, then say you strenuously object to their tone of voice, and threaten to not pay your room bill.

7. Start doing some serious Christmas shopping in June and have everything wrapped up by Halloween (using a secret code system to remember what’s inside each present.)

6. Win more often when attending casinos and vow to only pick winning stocks to invest in with your monthly grocery money.

5. Take more stay-cations @ home and spend them bingeing out on the next season of all those Netflix series.

4. Learn a new hobby, such as: making weird animal sounds, start a ukulele support group, gather one-ingredient recipes into a cookbook for dummies, collect old mirrors from garage sales and strategically place them to maximize the amount of sun coming into your home.

3. At home, re-organize everything you own alphabetically and then in order by size, or vice versa.

2. Spend more time with strangers by doing volunteer work @ random places in random towns @ random times.

1. Express anger immediately so it doesn’t build up into a giant pressure cooker that blows during “fun” family getogethers.

0. Read FMObserver religiously and pray for the FMObserver writers to produce more viral content.

HAPPY NEW YEAR from the FMObserver!

Previous FMO New Year’s Resolution Guidance


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)