Government Spy Birds Are Watching You

June 27th, 2013 | by Johnnny

Osprey1PX1Osprey, FL – New information is being leaked by the Governmental Leak Information Bureau (G.L.I.B.) about federally trained birds that are now being used for domestic surveillance. Ospreys (click on picture) and other large birds are helping Big Brother spy on you.

Gordon Meinkampf heads up the Center for Bird-Held Cameras (C.B.C.). He and his well-paid staff have been training and testing many types of large birds to see which work the best for the purposes of domestic surveillance, spying, and even some predatory attacks.

Mr. Meinkampf says: “I am not allowed to answer any of your questions as to what we secretly do here at the CBC, other than to say that anytime you see an: osprey, eagle, raven, pelican, cormorant, vulture, condor, or red-tailed hawk, chances are pretty darn good that it’s probably one of ours. You might as well smile for the high-definition digital mini-cam with super-zoom lens that’s attached to that nice friendly bird.”

Anyone caught tampering with a bird and/or its camera will be easily identified and brought to justice under the full extent of the law. “Try to act normally and be yourself.” says Gordon. “Just because we’re always able to watch you, doesn’t mean you have to worry that something bad is going to happen…like an IRS audit, for instance.”


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.