One Man Comes To Conquer The Red River Valley Fair And…………

July 18th, 2012 | by Bill Burns

West Fargo, ND – The Red River Valley Fair in West Fargo is a tough playground to stand out in.  People from all over dress their best in the efforts to stand out, possibly grind their naked genitals together, or become the latest homicide victim.

In the midst of all the back boobs, hooker shoes, tight cowboy jeans, cowboy shorts, and swass (sweaty ass),only one man can stand out.  And that man is……..this guy.

ankle_weights_red_river_valley_fair

“I lift wrist weights.  You wanna do me?”

This man is sporting some super cool board shorts.  Where he was before the fair I am not sure.  I can only guess he was pretending to surf some waves at the kiddy pool so I would definitely ask your kids if anything “out of the ordinary” happened.  The shorts are then complimented by a nice DC surfer jacket.  Again, probably riding some waves in the kiddy pool.  Check with your kids.  To top it all off, he is wearing wrist weights which were on his ankles earlier in the evening.  This is totally a baller move.  Wrist weights will get you the chicks and this guy knows it.

This guy eluded me two times while trying to capture his picture.  I was in the stands when I first spotted this creature.  He was walking casually by with his rockin’ ankle weights and was lost amongst the concert crowd.  Disappointed, I sat waiting, lurking, hoping for the chance to spot this creature again.  Then there he was, making his rounds again.  This time I ran down into the crowd to try and stalk this creature, gather research, but he eluded me yet again.  Not giving up, I left my position and walked around looking for him.  God was with me this day because as I was standing there drinking my beer that tasted like piss, he walked right past me.  Excited, I pounced on the opportunity and finally got my short video to provide you all with.  Prize will be awarded if you can correctly name this species.

As I was leaving the fair guess who was there?  It was ankle weight guy running around with children.  It completed my entire night.

So, I think it’s fair to say that this man came to conquer The Red River Valley Fair and……….. KICKEDFUCKINASS!!!!