Cave, Illinois – A recently discovered Neanderthal man from the Cro-Magnon era is suing anyone who has been calling him a Neanderthal man.
In an effort to reduced the number of times he will be called a Neanderthal in the future, Neanderthal man’s attorney states that the lawsuit is against anyone who has called Neanderthal man a Neanderthal since his recent discovery in a cave.
The lawsuit is for $750 million in the form of a class-action lawsuit against any and all who have referred to Neanderthal man as such.
Neanderthal man was recently discovered down in his cave by some teenagers who say they were “not” going there to experiment with drugs.
Neanderthal man is currently employed in Chicago at the famous Museum Of Natural History as a guide in the Cro-Magnon era section.
Subsequent to coming out of the cave, Neanderthal man came out of the closet and announced that he is a homo sapien who is looking for a mate to mate to make young Neanderthals just like him.
Neanderthal man likes to walk barefoot in the park, play with rocks, hang out in his man cave, and write hieroglyphics on the walls.
If you would like to meet or make contact with Neanderthal man, simply send him a message translated from your language into Neanderthal using Google’s translation site. Please mark your correspondence specifically to: Dear Neanderthal man!